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IT’S NOT LOVE: Signs your partner is abusing you

Emotional abuse can kill your spirit before you can even know – and worse. The reason why it has become such a widespread problem is that a person in love doesn’t want to see the red flags because they so desperately want to believe that their abuser actually loves them, or cares about them – or wants the best for them.
And slowly, steadily and irreversibly, emotional abuse – especially from someone who is supposed to love you – will erode your joy, your sense of well-being and even your mental health, driving you into paralyzing self-doubt, shame and possibly suicide.
Nobody deserves to be in an abusive relationship and thus this article will try and guide you to identify whether the person you are in a relationship with is an abuser or not:

Abusers Consistently and Repeatedly Make Mean Jokes, and Criticize and Judge You Negatively

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Abusers humiliate their partners. They insult and put you down both in private and in front of others as a method of eroding your self-respect and hurting you emotionally, which they hope, will make you more dependent on them.
Then, if you or someone else protests, they will laugh it off and either claim that they are “just joking” and that you are just “too sensitive”.
In other words, they will hurt your feelings and make you feel that it’s your fault.

Abusers Refuse To Talk About Your Pain

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A healthy relationship is the one in which both the partners are free to express what they feel and one is always there for the other.
An emotional abuser doesn’t want to hear about your pain, except to reinforce that you deserve whatever pain you feel and that you’ve brought it on yourself, or that it’s your deserved destiny to feel bad about yourself.

They Threaten You in Subtle Ways

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Emotional abuse is more subtle than physical abuse. It’s easier to identify when you are being physically abused but identifying signs of emotional abuse is what is difficult.
Emotional abuse is more subtle than physical abuse. It’s easier to identify when you are being physically abused but identifying signs of emotional abuse is what is difficult.

Abusers Make You Doubt Yourself

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An emotional abuser intentionally lies to you just so that you are confused and while making decisions you depend on them. This practice leads to erosion of your self esteem.
They will make you doubt their own observations, memory and sanity.
Sometimes they will argue and wear you down until you don’t trust what you know is true. Sometimes they will straight out deny what you saw.

Empathy v. Indifference

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You’re really sad about putting your dog down or a family issue arises. You could really use a shoulder to cry on. But you know you can’t rely on your partner for that. In order to stay in control, emotional abusers need your focus to be on them.
Their tolerance for your woes is limited because they need to quickly get back to their fix: abusing you. If your partner isn’t there for you in the tough times, take note.